Results update

I finally got the call and it was one call I wish I didn't get, Christian's Bleed is significantly worse and hydrocephalus had begun, she said that there is blood within the brain itself and at this point there is possible damage occurring. They are transferring him to the other NICU a few blocks away and they are going to evaluate him and do more US and tests. She said they will probable put a temporary drain in to drain it till the hemorrhage stops so they can place the shunt. All I can do is cry, I can't be there to hold my baby and be there for him. It's so hard knowing your baby is this sick and you can't do anything about it. I'm blaming myself maybe I shouldn't but I can't help it. If I would still be preggers he would be safe inside me, but the doc did say considering how intense it is she wonders if this started in utero? Still I can't help but to blame me b/c my squirt is so sick. I'm just so scared and worried right now and feel like my head is just spinning. Please Pray for my little guy only God can fix this