Tuesday, September 23, 2008

It's Positive!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(This is the Test The Pos. is not very Dark but it's There)

Well how do I say it, Yeap I tested pos. yesterday (I'm 2 days Late) Now I don't Know what to think. I'm OK w/ it I realy am but, w/ Christian being a preemie now only 4 months old and all that he went threw I realy didn't want to get pregnant. Not that I won't love this baby (I already do) it's just happening so fast. Not to mention now worrying about having another Preemie. I'm fertile and the docs new that but 4 different docs wouldn't give me any birth control. I wanted the depo shot but it made me bleed in the past and they didn't want to try it. The pill affects my heart so that wasn't an option. I was OK w/ trying the shot all I had to do was take hormone pills again if the bleeding started. But no they wouldn't. So our methods apparently not very affective.

I already have 3 kids age 2 1/2 and under! And PreTeens, and a 5 year old. Will I be able to do it? Especialy w/ Christian being a preemie and having medical problems. OH Man the more I think of it scares me to DEATH!!!!!!!!!!!

I went to a doctor today and she confirmed I am definetly Pregnant. All I can say is I will need the Lords strength more now than I ever did. I am Happy but Scared, Heck I have the right to be look at what I've been threw!

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