Christian's Diagnosis :(

We just got home from Christian's appt a follow up on his arm were he isn't moving his right as much and it's a little stiff. His ped feels that it's b/c of his Stroke he had and he has developed CP in his right arm, as of right now it's mild and we are hoping it stays that way. So far his arm is the only thing affected, I'm crossing my fingers that it will stay that way. After all that has happened these past couple of weeks, going threw a miscarriage and almost dieing, this really isn't something I wanted to hear to say the least, I kinda knew it may be CP but hearing that my baby has CP makes it different. I'll take him no matter what and I'll ALWAYS LOVE HIM nothing will ever change that. It's just hard knowing he will be dealing w/ this for the rest of his life. I just pray that his will only stay Mild. He goes back for his 6 month follow up in a few weeks, He is up to 13 pounds finally and 24 inches! As for me well, I feel like the world is crashing down all around me. These past 5 years I have had so much heartache and pain in my life, but there has been so many amazing happy rewarding ones to it's just so hard to see them. It's like I'm at the point to say OK what's next what else do I have to go threw. It makes you think how much does one person really have to go threw in Life. I know I'm not better than anyone else and there are many probably going threw worse I just hate that we all have to have so much heartache and I wonder if there is ever an end of this long road. Will I ever see the light again and just be HAPPY?